heartaches.

i dunno how to handle my feelings. my mood is down currently. my heart is just so pain. i can feel it aching & it hurts. i couldn't vent it out. i'm so afraid. afraid of losing him. after this incident, i'm so scared. i felt so insecure. anytime, anywhere. he will find another girl. seriously, i dunno how much love does he have for me. is all the guys out there the same? issit why some girls refuse to get into a relationship & marry cos' they are afraid of being hurt? if i could choose, i rather not be a girl. it hurts too much being a girl. too much jerks. aix. black & white is what i see now. where's that cheerful little girl? she's lost.

will we end up going separate ways? i'm really afraid. really. you meant too much to me. i dunno it hurts so much without you. do you feel the same too? or all you need is someone who can acc you?

i hope tml will be my Os & i can be with you after that. there's alot more obstacles ahead of us. all i hope is that we overcome them.

too much lies & hatre.

after knowing the facts last night, i felt like a fool. too much lies. too much guessing. i dunno when you'll still lie to me. not that i dun trust you. is that you made me cant trust you. how many lies have you say?
"Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won"
song by Jet. Look What You've Done. i think this song shld suit you bahs.
not only me who is the victim. she is another person. SHIRLEY. i hope things can be made clear as soon as possible. stop lying anymore. it doesn't make things look good. i hope there's no more lies between both of us. every single sec, i need to guess. wondering if it's the truth. sometimes when you are saying the truth but i doubt ur words. it makes my heart aches. i believe you once & again. but you broke my heart after 1 and another. after our break up, you just went steady with another girl the next day. does it prove anything? after doing so many things, then you regretted. isnt it too late? you 2 timer both of us. you made us feel like a fool. i felt so cheated. i realised the change in you. you dun care abt other's feeling. you do what you like. you dun see the consequences.

i know you're a helpless position. i know. you need to bear all the consequences. abt shirley, she will become a lesbian after your break up with her. it's her life afterall. she wont thank you for being such a responsible man. so what for? unless you care abt her. imagine me having to tell you the same thing. will you still give me time to break with him? i think probably you'll kill him straight away.

i couldn't start my hw bcos' of this matter. i used up all my time thinking abt this. i'll be able to concentrate once you settled everything. so i REALLY hope you'll settle it fast. after your break up with her, leave her as far as possible. i'm sure in the factory, you made quite a lot of friends. hang out with a grp of friends. not only with a girl. if not, soon, feelings will developed and i dun wan that to happen. call me if you feel like it. i will still concentrate on my studies. just make sure that you'll be single the year through. i'll not have to worry anymore. i know it's difficult for you. sorry. cos' i really dun wanna lose you. i'm really afraid to lose you.

pardon me. i'm too selfish towards love. cos' i dun wanna share you with someone else. sorry to stressed you up. aix. i dun wan it this way. i really dun wan. i hope you can understand. if you have anything to say, post it out too. treat this as a diary between me & you. =) i love you, my boy. always my boy.

I WANNA KILL HER!

i put down my dignity & went back to him. everytime i think of that scene, my heart aches like hundreds of knifes stabbing into it. i feel like KILLING her! SLAPPING THAT BITCH! I WILL! IF I EVER SEEN HER AGAIN! IF I EVER GET TO VENT ALL MY ANGER & HATRE, YOU'LL SEE NEITHER OF US AGAIN. i seem like a mad dog. bcos' you made me be. i may seem scary to you. but that's me. i'm faithful & i expect you to be! you cant accept me having a replacement, i expect you not to have it too! because of ur decision in going steady with her, you made me helpless for hours & hours. how much i wanted to lessen my pain to just by hurting myself?! I HATE LIARS! I HATE JERKS! you became 1 of them. i'm pity of that girl whom you be with. she's being fooled by you. i wonder if i am. you wont know the pain i felt bcos' you're not in my shoes. "when someday, you saw your loved one in the mall, you rushed down just to get to see her. but you end up seeing her with a guy walking closely. the pain inside is like thousands & millions of knifes stabbing in ur heart. you couldn't do anything bcos' you still have to acc ur mum to eat." i was choked by the Tom Yam soup bcos' of that incident. i was hungry when i came to meet mum. but just bcos' of that incident, i lost my appetite. i had to force myself to eat even abit cos' i dun wan my mum to be worried. we went home. i cried helplessly in my room for 3 hrs. i laid on my bed. my eyes were swollen, tired & pain. i fell aslp till 3am. i woke up. back to my room, i slept hoping i'll forget everything the next day but i dreamt of you being two-timer. i was so helpless. i woke up crying. normally, if i'm sad the previous night, i'll forget the next morning. it's not the case nw. just for that moment, it made me helpless for hours. i'm always hoping you wont be together with a girl. i know you love me & wont betrayed me even though i told you to find a girl & not let me know. i dunno how far you 2 have come to. holding hands, kissing each other, talking on the phone every night. i started to suspect everything you do. you told me your friends need ur help that night so we hung up. is that her who called? that day you all went to see movie, is she there too? the first time i seen you 2, have you all started? bringing her to see badminton bcos you 2 started? i dunno if she's the one. i din look properly on her face. my heart feels so pain. it bled. you killed me.

lost trust in u

i hate liars. i hate jerks. but u became 1 of them. dun come here again. i'll not post anymore. utterly disappointed.

never be replaced.

i really hope we can patch. but i know i cant control the future. we're still left with 11 months to my finishing of 'O's. can we still be as loving as we are in the past? i really had no idea. you gotta start your poly soon after you get your results. no time to meet. no time to talk. will our feelings just fade away? i really hope not.

i was chatting with Serbian ytd. she told me how a fool she was waiting for him. telling her she's the last girl. dropping tears & saying he's afraid of neglecting her because of badminton. but what happens then? being back with another girl?

aix. then she asked abt me. she dun wan me to be same like her. so wanted me to give up waiting. i told her that it was worth waiting. cos' i think that the case for me is different for hers. i hope what i say is true bahs.

i'll continue waiting like how i wait for 911 that day. no matter how long it takes to wait, i will. i hope you wont give up waiting for this bus to come too. =)

For you, Jiaying

Ever since we broke off, i have been missing u. I miss all those memories. I looked at all those photos, i realise how important u r to me. U r reali very important. I neglected u. Its my fault. But i promise after ur Os, we will be together. No matter which girl came and acc me, in my heart i know dat the girl dat i wanted is u. You hav already walked into my life. I need u. I miss u. Let's wait for the day dat we patch. U r the girl dat i love. wo zhen de zhen de hao ai ni. I feel very uneasy when u let guys be close to u. i reali don lik it. i feel so scared. i don wanna hav this feeling again. i don wan u to accept other guys. no. i don wan.

aiming for my future.

went to SP & TP ytd. focusing only on School of Business. i got the rough idea of what courses i want. most probably, i'll choose either tourism or banking courses. TP's tourism course not bad cos' they have experiences unlike SP. but gotta go Ngee Ann see the tourism course first. after the open hse, i went over to my jiu jiu's condo. they having BBQ there. my jiu jiu's birthday. while at the BBQ pit, Zi Yi, my biao mei came over to me. she pulled my shirt. she's so cute!! she came to me automatically. i'm so touched!! i sat down & carried her on my laps. she soon fell aslp. mummy was there saying, if she's my child, she'll faint ah. lols. love Zi Yi so much. she's so cute! my mummy carried her back to her room. i tried to carry but too heavy. lols. when she's on the bed, she came down again. lols. she wanted to go back to the BBQ pit. so i acc her. on the way, she wanted me to carry. i carried awhile then she slips off my hands le. lols. i'm not strong enough. haha. i was thinking how gd if she's our child.

my msg to you.

i know you're jealous & angry abt me with guys. you reacted this way bcos you care abt me. i'm glad. really. maybe somehow i wanted you to show how much you care abt me. whenever i receive your msg, you seems to be so sian. i was so disappointed. i dunno if you've fall for another girl alr. everytime when i miss you, i wanna sms you but i din dare to sms you or even call you. i know you dun like me to call you for nothing. so i always refrain from thinking abt you by chatting with whoever is online. believe me. i still love you. if i dun, i wont cry almost every night during holidays. i din cry after sch reopen cos' i know everyone will know i cried the previous night. i do my hws every night & when i get tired, i'll slp and not think anymore. but everytime i still think of you before i sleep on my bed despite the tiredness. i'm sorry to make you jealous & angry. i'm really sorry. but have faith in me. i'll wait for you. even it's for a lifetime. it's love that makes us bond together. love doesn't come so easily. awaiting for the day we patch. the day we can be together as one. i love you. you will always be my boy. always. never be replaced.

badminton match

woke up this morning. dragging myself to the toilet. i was so tired! normally, i took 911 to interchange to meet Sze Hui. it's not exceptional today. when i reached the bus stop, there's this malay boy & a chinese boy sitting on the bench. the malay boy holding a bk & a pen, walked up to me asking me for my hp no. of cos' i din give. he asked if i have a boyfriend, i nod my head. then, he like signalling to that chinese boy lo. i was like dunno what to do lahs. wait for the bus come lo. i wonder how shld i go to sch on mon. -.- they'll still sit there wait one mahs. nth to do one lehs.

anyway, this afternoon there's a class deco competition. they made paper clothes for us to wear. i was one of them. so funny lo. malu lehs. after the judges came, serbian & i went to the gallery to see the badminton match. not long ltr, he came with a girl called Shirley. the match wasn't that excited compared to last yr. so sians. the B Boys like so ruan lidat. no power. awhile later end le. 5-0. he & shirley went off to dunno whr. i go hall awhile. i came out. he went in. then, went home. so tired today. dunno why. my eyes feel like closing & dun wanna bother anything else.

still considering wanna drop to sub sci. cos' i'm not interested in sci courses in the future. so pure sci doesn't give any advantages. and i just dun wan my points to be like 20+ points. i'm not gd in sci. aix. got back chem test. so badly done. 16.5/50. the paper was hard lehs. aix.

during the badminton matches, he got talked to me awhile norhs. then, he lightly pushed my head. i was happy. lols. it's a nice feeling. lols. refrained frm looking at him lahs. maybe it's better bahs. =) at least i wont always think of him.

=) so happy!

he still love me. i will wait. after i graduate, we'll be together again! hees. you gotta wait for me too! i'll study hard & get gd results. dun forget our promise! i was so happy today. it's been a long time since i smiled so happily. he made me smiled again. i dunno how he make it. but i'm really happy to have him. even though i cant have him now. he'll stay deep in my heart. i'm so glad today. everyday will be the same too. dun worry for me. i'll continue to strive hard. i still love you like how you love me. always my beloved boy.

touching his face. hugging him tightly. feeling the love we had. you'll not be replaced. i love you. i'm so glad to have you.

so tired.

worked just for that $20. took MRT all the way to Kallang. -.- just wanna have the feel of working la actually. somemore can see Sun Yan Zi & FIR. lols. Sun Yan Zi super SLIM & FLAT. lols. that's the truth. after that, went back to Causeway Point to eat. then, to the arcade. played Daytona & tried catching the Hello Kitty. it's too heavy! Daytona first time we played Beginner de. i was the last. then, 2nd & 3rd time played Advanced. i was 2nd! hees. so happy! nearly lost. lols. overtake them & i got 2nd! he called. asked me to be home by 9.30pm. i agreed but i played the last time of Daytona. so reached home ard 10pm. so tired now.

he called just now. he finished his work. chat awhile. he still cares & love me. from the way he talked to me. i felt the love within him. =) i'm so happy! really glad. he hope we can be back together. i hope so too. i'll wait for this day to come. you must wait too. we will be back together soon. gotta keep in touch. dun let our feelings fade. i love you. you will nv be replaced. *awaiting for the day to come*

nearly went bonkers.

was so tired just now. nearly went bonkers. my mind was not stable. talked nonsense on msn. i forgotten some of the contents. but, i just say what i wans. aix. kinda depressed somehow. i was thinking of the fresh blood dripping when our skin comes off. i smsed Sze Hui to ask her out so that i'll not be so depressed. but she's not home, outside. so i lied on my bed. soon, i fell aslp perpendicularly to my bed. the tiredness & unhappiness in me. do you feel it? aix. Os coming. tests queuing up. rushing hw at night. studying during weekends. i'm so tired. but still i nida smile & laugh in front of everyone. only way i can, is to escape. just laugh. everything's fine then.

clicking the photos in my com. reminiscing the memories. i smiled. tears in my eyes. i dun cry easily now. i can still feel his face, warm hugs, kisses, the way i touch his head, the times i tried to grab him & kiss, it's such a nice feeling that i'll never forget. the size of his palm. aix. i simply miss him.

distributing flyers tml at indoor stadium for Sun Yan Zi's concert with Wei Hong, Ken Weei & the rest. $10 per hr but we do only 2 hrs. wonder if we'll see Sun Yan Zi having her reharsals. hmm. will be my first 2 hrs job? lols. that's all i think. gotta go slp. i'm tired. *yawns* missing him..

i love you still.

went to Causeway Point with Sze Hui as usual. we were going down the escalator. a guy touched my face. it was him. din saw him at first. my first reaction was of cos' SHOCKED. second reaction was HAPPY. i saw a girl beside him as he walked away. third reaction was UPSET. forth reaction. i laughed to cover my sorrows. i laughed non-stop. just to deceive everyone. we were supposed to go home then. but Sze Hui knew i wanna know who's this girl is. so we went up again. simply window shopping. saw them with Jia Hao outside the comics shop. i refrained from looking them then. aix. went to the toilet. vomited cos' laughed too much. tears came out. whatever. i din cry. went home after that. i cried at home. sms him at night. he said that they were only friends. ya. whatever. why must it be a GIRL! WHATEVER! i shld go and meet a guy too, ya. then, both of us will understand how it feels then. whatever. GUYS FLIRT! I HATE GUYS! BIG LIARS! MY LIFE'S LIKE HELL NOW! IT SUX!

nightmare ytd night. i dreamt of me in my room & it kept repeating & repeating. i couldn't wake up. i tried. but once i tried to wake up, i'll end up dreaming the same thing again. aix. nightmare.

sch's per normal. writing chi compo after sch. 2nd last to finish. i'm slow. aix. home now. so tired. slept late every night. hate going home so early. it just makes me start thinking of him. it sucks ok! from what i see now.. we have very less percentage of patching. aix. we dun contact often. plus he's working. meeting all kinds of person. of cos' he'll fall for someone then. aix. i'll just be that fool waiting for the day we patch. aix. whatever. running away from reality..

dun wait until it's too late.

kor's friend passed away. he just met him on sat to play basketball. when we wanted to call him out today. his parents told kor he met with a car accident ytd night at KL. i felt so sad after hearing it. he died at this young age. his future? his goals? he have not been through all these and he passed away. frm this incident, i realised the imptance of treasuring everyone even if it's someone you dun really know. dun regret when it's too late then. what you wanna tell the person, tell them now before everything's too late.. aix.

numbness.

slept at abt 1am last night. morning, i dragged myself to sch. fell so slpy. felt like collapsing. my eyes couldn't open big. PE, took height & weight. finally, i'm 160cm! haha. luckily, my weight still remains at 47. hees. played captain's ball. nice! very long time din play lerhs. lessons ended at 2.30pm. bio was the last lesson. her boy is alr 7 months old! a big tummy lehs. her weight increase 15 Kg but her boy only weighs 1.7Kg. after sch, went for CO. late for CO cos' the canteen dun have things to eat so have to kinda cook bahs. teacher's not here. waste time there talking. Evan get her wrist. very deep. i saw the cuts. reminiscing the past. i became afraid. i nearly lost my life last time when i slashed my wrist cos' it's near my veins. just a few mm away. anyway, took bus to interchange. saw Wei Hong. he was going home but his mum called and told him to eat dinner himself. so he went to find me asking me if i wanna eat norhs. i just go norhs. went to foodcourt to eat lo. chat abt he's 3 months course in NAFA. then, drank bubble tea. he treat me drink. acc me to wait for bus. the chocolate milk tea was awful. ewww. he tested it oso. he also agreed. lols. on the bus, thinking of the past. it makes my feeling down. i reached home. i saw my kor's shoes which looks like my dad's. without a 2nd thought, i thought dad is back home. i was happy. but suddenly i realised it's my kor's shoes. aix. i miss dad.

hmm. realised i'm having difficulty hearing. i could hardly hear ppl talking in class. is like there's something blocking my ear. maybe it's due to my flu bahs. hopefully it'll be okay after i recover from my flu.

tears under the rain.

met serbian at Causeway Point at 7pm to pass me A5 Exercise Bk. then, took bus to his hse. took some bks. chat awhile with his dad. he mentioned abt our relationship. aix. it made me drop my tears. but not in front of her dad. but in the lift. i walked to the bus stop. under the rain, i dropped my tears. i took 900 home. i sat in the bus alone. i dropped my tears again. reached home then. start my compo.. i ran away from reality and not reveal my true self again. maybe after Os. concentrating on my studies. =) many ppl did ask me. i've also repeated alot of times. and i hated it. hope there's no more questioning. aix.

coughs & flus. not yet recovered. din see doc. cos' i refused to. doc fees too exp! mummy told me i finished the whole box of panadol. lols. was shocked. haha. medicine eater. lols.

hmm. wondering if there's someone who really understands me. i always try my best to understand. i tried. i really do. have you feel it? aix.

wanna hug you.

was watching Xin Han at channel 8 just now. with mummy. kinda like a horror movie. but not really lahs. it's scary lo. maybe due to night time bahs. i halfway then see de. mummy dun dare to watch. so i acc her. the story is abt a guy being a police. always busy with work. he accidentally shot a girl on her neck. she died. her bf was so upset that he wanted to revenge. he was a doctor. he wanted the police to feel the same as he do. so he made the police's gf suffer. he made her have illusions. she always have illusions & more than often she asked her bf to acc her but her bf thought she's only thinking wildly. so he continued working & left her alone at home.. her gf felt so helpless. finally, she broke down. sent to hospital. it was only then, her bf starts to realise the importance of accompanying her. she was injected with medicine so will wake up 10 hrs ltr. her bf went back to investigate the cases while he called the doctor to take care of her. he din know that the doctor's gf was actually the girl he shot. cut the story short.. when the police's gf was abt to die, because the doctor made her bled profusely, the police hugged her. she told him that she felt so comfortable in his arms because he had not hug her for a long time.

i was so touched. i was thinking the moments when dear hugged me when i was helplessly crying. that's the feeling i love most. being protected by your loved one. how i wish i could hug him now. i miss his hug.

CCA Open Hse

started schooling for a few days lerhs. everything was fine. manage to pay attention in class. cos' we sit in the middle. class was quiet too. ytd, had eng lessons. miss woo talked alot lahs. we sat there quietly listening to her. then, when Sze Hui laugh, she'll ask "What's so funny?" i mean. why? is laughing wrong? other teachers dun seem to have this prob. -.- after that, anna was taking a stapler. she din do other things. she asked "Anna, are you crazy?" what is wrong taking a stapler. i wonder if she has some mental probs. a minor one. and if you notice her elbow, it's abit weird. kinda like fractured. after Sze Hui mention it to me, i purposely pay attention to her elbow. okay. back to eng lessons. she told us to write kinda like a reflections & projections. she'll send back to us when we are graduating. she said she'll not see it. many of us din believe her. so we went stapling around the corners of the paper. lols! there's personal things inside. that's why. at night, received his sms. i was shocked! i din expect lo. but more & often, i expect but it din happen. anyway, he thought i slept. but i was still awake. so i replied him. called him norhs. he still cares abt me. i'm glad. soon, we'll meet up for lunch! hees! but dunno when. cos' he works in the afternoon. my sch ends at 2.30pm. only for thur lo. 1pm. hope can bahs. slept at 1am.

Woke up at 7am this morning. still having coughs & flus. went to sch for CCA Open Hse. some graduates came back norhs. practice in the music rm. then, carried instruments to the concourse. while playing the songs, i start to feel unwell. kinda like wanna faint that feeling. think cos' i din eat in the morning. like no strength to play lidat. i'm also very tired too. kept playing wrong notes. aix. after that, stayed near the booth lo. till 11am. so little ppl. only 8 classes. -.- went home to slp then. eyes was so tired! my panda eyes so obvious! anyway, i dreamt of me hugging him tightly & he too hugged me tight. how i hope this dream come true. =( but it dun seems to be coming true. hmm. think that's all le bahs. got time then update. missing that boy. aix.

little kitty!

met Sze Hui at interchange this morning at 6.55am . hmm. reached sch just nice 7.15am. hahas. nearly late. lols. gotta be meet earlier tml morning. form teacher Mr Chew!! wees. gdy. sch per normal. sat beside Serbian. behind of Anna which is beside of Sze Hui. chop seats at the middle there. with fan right above. no need to complain hot anymore! =D first day lotsa excuses. haha. teacher intro intro lo. we no need. lols. was so tired while in class. slept at ard 1am ytd night. 0.0 panda eyes. they were hungry abt 10am. i wasn't. even until recess time. maybe i always wake up late & used to eat at 12 plus. ate potato wedges during recess. bought my PE shirt. sch ended at 1.30pm. but for our class normally 2.30pm. and it starts at 7.30am!! going mad! fri as usual lahs. like the previous batch. chi remedials after sch. Mr Siao predicts that we cant finish our paper on time. aix. i wonder how we'll fare during Os. =( i dun wanna re-take. anyway, after sch i stayed back with Sze Hui awhile. finish up my chi. ate egg bun in sch. wasn't full yet. went to Causeway Point. bought chicken pie & mini egg tart. hees. went to Popular too. bought chinese Txbk & WB. finally i found that foolscap! thx, Sze Hui! took 911 home then. holding on to so many things. afraid i cant balance myself. lols. i fly easily. reached home. was kinda missing the feeling of being cared by dear. i need someone to care for me. aix. no choice lahs. i cant find him back. i cant possibly find another guy too. aix. what to do. just concentrate on my studies lo. getting back my studying mood le. hees. gdy. just abit lazy here & there. hope can score well lahs. dun have relationship to handle. but i still want this relationship back. can say i'm running away now. i'll handle it after Os. if this relationship will end, i've all the time to cry then. i really hope we can be back together. but it'll be another challenge after Os.

okay. back to my life. i went for piano lesson at 7pm. ended at 7.30pm. when i came out of the room, there's this little kitty sitting there. i was shocked cos' i din see it while walking. it started to follow me then. i stepped back but it walk ard me & start meowing. so i took the lift. it followed me in. i walked out. i think it lost it's way. then i walked towards the pedestrian. the kitty saw me. followed me again. i cross the road. at the same time afraid it'll get hit by vehicles. but it din follow this time. i dunno why this kitty follow me. maybe as what my mum said, the kitty is hungry. but i dun think so. i think that it's the strange feeling me & the kitty have. if this relationship were to end, i may think of breeding a kitty. (: just a thought lahs. let's see then. think that's all. missing him.*

nightmare!

dreamt of him & florence. they slept at my hse. i quarrelled with him then. we broke up. after that, florence complained to her mummy that my mum cooking was bad & wasn't healthy. her mum came. quarrelled with my mum. so my mum cooked for her to eat. while quarrelling, i wanted to call him. but i was scared. end up din call. then, her mum tested the food. it came out to be okay. her mum apologised and became friends. suddenly, i woke up. i was so frightened. wanted to hug him tight. but i know i couldn't. aix.

will i get back to him again? aix. i've been questioning myself. does he still love me? cos' he doesn't seems to care anymore. aix. i'm lacked of care now. what to do.. helps! ='(

misses you.

dreamt of him last night. dreamt of him at my doorstep returning kor's disc. then, asking me why i din tell him i love him. he told me actually he really miss me but he din say only. i woke up realising it's only a dream. aix. met him at NKF there. lend him $50. we chat abit. wanted to hug him but din have the chance bahs. hmm. smsed him while going home. i was so happy. lols. =D he really cheers me up. just dun ignore me. i'm happy. hees. ard 5pm, mummy & i went to Compass Point till abt 10pm. bought violet mascara. on my way home, Jason smsed me. he kinda ask for stead bahs. of cos' i rejected. he's just a playboy in my eyes. i wont get into another relationship for now. even if i like the person. it's not the age for relationship now.. but i'll still wait for him to patch.. cos' our relationship havent end. =) hmm. think that's all bahs. hw still not done yet. sch reopening in 2 days time!! =( gonna study hard as what i promise him. hees. he'll treat me if i score well. waiting..

Happy New Year!

ytd went to play badminton in the afternoon. memories of you playing flashed in my mind. aix. played awhile. then, it started to rain. we sat on the floor near the hall. waiting for the rain to stop. the guys were there discussing whether to go to Wei Li's BBQ. the rain became smaller so we decided to go home. we dispatched. some walked to Marsiling MRT. some walked to 912 bus stop. i went to Causeway Point to buy Sushi to eat. din eat since morning. then, Wei Li smsed me. asking me to go for the BBQ. so i told him to call another girl to go. Florence went so did i. Seng Hong & Jason din come cos' they going to Min Shi's hse to countdown. Florence went home ard 10 plus. i stayed till 12 plus. we started chatting.. Zhi Hong asked if Jason got always sms me these few days. ya. frm fri night, he started smsing me. Zhi Hong said he may ask me for stead or whatever. ya. i can guess. but i'll just reject.. i showed them the msg Jason send lo. then, they go disturb him. lols. then, Wei Li asked abt me & him. why we broke. told them le. they comforted me lahs. aix. nth much then. Zhi Hong went home. Wei Li acc me home cos' it's late. so on the way i asked abt him & Corrine. conclusion for their relationship is Corrine is not ready. reached home then. online awhile. but com auto-shut twice so i went to slp.

he just now chat with me using Florence's msn. he asked me to study hard. studies comes first. relationship comes ltr. after hearing, maybe i'm better now. nothing i can do now.. but to study. all the best to you. i miss you. and i love you.